Player Profiles

Click on a name to read a profile.

Joel Caprani
Stephen Clarke

Johan Collins(A Team Captain)
Tony Collins
Declan Conway
Eamonn Conway
Padraic Conway
Colin Corrigan
Aaron Curry
Michael Cusack
Daire Duffy
Michael Durcan(B Team Manager)
Declan Flynn
Glen Grehan
Ruairí Heverin
Anthony Healy
David Hickey
Peter Hopkins(B Team Captain)
Damien Howley
Iarla Hughes
Owen Keane
Barry Kelly
Paul Kilcourse
Darren Lavelle
Danny Lawless
Alan Leonard
Eamonn Maughan
John McCarthy
Gerry McDonnell
Joseph McDonnell
Michael McDonnell
Stephen McDonnell
Padraig McHale(A Team Manager)

Ronan McTigue
Keiran Murphy
Sean Murphy
Stephen Murphy
Tommy Nolan
Sean O'Brien
Declan Ormsby
Stephen Ormsby
David Quinn
Mark Quinn
Jamie Rocke
David Roughneen
Frank Scully
Declan Shaw
Enda Shields
Michael Wallace
Stephen Walshe

Tony Collins

Tony Collins Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Tony Collins
Age: 30 going on 40
Sex: are orang-utans hermaphrodite?
Nickname: Ticker
Height: 5�10
Position: Striker
Favourite Player:Ian Dowie (Ya got a love them eyebrows)
Description: A no nonsense forward, with a healthy appetite for goals, wides, overs and corner flags. His strength is his greatest asset, enabling him to power past ancient defenders or hold up the play for on-rushing midfielders.
Quote: Aahh, is that all ya got, me mother would hit me harder (on the pitch). Jesus lads I don�t think I should be playing any more, Im getting to old for this. D�ya think I should retire lads. (off the pitch after a few gargles)

Ronan McTigue

Ronan McTigue Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Ronan McTigue
Age: 10 (mental age)
Sex: Some day
Nickname: Crouch
Height: 7�3�
Position: Very poor positioning
Favourite Player: Kevin James (Scotland, Uk's tallest soccer player) 6'7"
Description: Gargantuan defender, with good close control despite having feet like sideshow bob sometimes appears to playing on ice, ending up on his arse regularly.
Quote: C�mon Du give us a fag, I swear I wasn�t chonged last night!

Colin Corrigan

Colin Corrigan Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Colin Corrigan
Age: 28
Sex: He says he does but who knows
Nickname: Colly
Height: 5'13"
Position: Utility player
Favourite Player: Havn a clue
Description: excellent full back, loves wandering out of position, can
fill in anywhere, great tackler even in trainin (w*nker, no need for it,
the bruises I have from the c*nt)
Quote: Doesnt talk that much on the pitch

Stephen McDonnell

Stephen McDonnell Player Profile(he's on the left)

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Steve (Luzhny) McDonnell
Age: 24
Sex:male
Nickname:Luzhny
Height: 6ft
Position: anywhere i'm put mainly the bench!!
Favourite Player: dennis the iceberg bergkamp
Description:hard working hard tackling defensive player, only player on the team who can take the ball down, turn and pass the ball all in one move. fondness for choc ices.

Quote: Rite guluck

P.s If you see an icecream in the photo and not a football, it means you have an unhealthy obsession with Choc Ices

Michael Cusack

Michael Cusack Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Michael Cusack
Age: 22
Sex: Oral for me.
Nickname: Littleman, Micky Gange Face, Pyro, Porno, Peck, Iron Mike, Michael Music and Annoying little shit,
there the ones I can remember off hand so take your pick.
Height: 5'8"
Position: Anywhere in Midfield
Favourite Player(s): Dejan Savicevic, Marco Van Basten
Description: A terrier in midfield with a diehard attitude anyone who gets passed him
will have him back at their heels before they can blink.
A player who loves to spread the play on the deck. Clean as a whistle (never been booked)!

Quote: "Jesus Christ! This is thirsty work".

Aaron Curry

Aaron Curry Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Aaron Curry
Age: 21
Sex: Used to get it a lot more in the good auld days
Nickname: Kid
Height: Not too tall, not too small
Position: Upfront, but willing to go down tne pitch to please
Favourite Player: Dave Roughneen
Description: A busy man, trying to score up in dublin but hopes to do the
same in mayo this summer.

Quote: "Cant make it down this weekend Murph"

Declan Ormsby

Declan Ormsby Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Declan Ormsby
Age:22
Sex: Still a virgin
Nickname:Leprechaun or horny bee
Height: 2-3 foot
Position: Left mid or up front
Favourite Player: His Cousin Zippy. (Zippys Favourite
is Decs Dad John Joe)!!!
Description:Has made the team this year and is
improving with every game. The fact that he has not
yet been laid makes him and aggresive player,but it
also makes him go blind!!!!!

Quote: "are ye wacked"

Michael Durcan

Michael Durcan Manager Profile

Statistics(B)
Name:Michael Durcan
Age:32

Sex: Twice every Night(Go on Duuuuu, Ruth.... Grrrr....)
(Update: Ruth reckons its three times a night now but Duther isn't always fully involved!)

Nickname:"Duter" Used to ride a Scooter when he was
just a wee lad then they added in the Durkan bit and
with a twist of lemon became "Duter
Height:Only weight available 20 Stone!!!
Position:The gaffer of the B army
Favourite Player: Any one from any sport. Duter once
appeared on "know youre sport" so he has many
favorites
Description: The biggest character in the Club. We all
Agree he should be on Corrie or eastenders as the
bertie barman

Quote:" All right aul stock" "R Right Chief"

Michael Wallace

Michael Wallace Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Mick Wallace
Age: 42-100
Sex: I overheard him say something about the Arsenal Dressing Rooms!
Nickname: Haggis Face, Groundskeeper Mickey.
Height: 6'2"
Position: In Nets
Favourite Player: Jim Leighton, Tommy Younger (Liverpool 1956-1959)
Description: Top class goalkeeper, knows the game inside out, has a six
hour round trip just to make training. Legend. The only keeper to play regularly in the Mayo League with broken, sprained, strained or dislocated hands, fingers and wrists. Coincidently he is the only McAlpine employee to regularly drop ESB poles on his Hands!
Quote: AH for F*cks sake.....as the ball leaves his foot at a very acute
angle heading straight for touch.......not too often mind.
Or
Ya used me Padraic, Ya used me, There's no such thing a Scotchtoberfest.

John McCarthy

John McCarthy Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: John McCarthy
Age: He get's served in Bucko's
Sex: Im not sure he knows how to
Nickname: The Shoe....
Height: Not Small, Not Tall
Position: Somewhere up front.
Favourite Player: After the London Irish match.... P McHale.
Description: Confident player, doesn't fart about. Could do with scoring more goals.
Quote: "First Time Ball!" "Two teams, One Club"

Declan Shaw

Declan Shaw Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Declan Shaw
Age: 33
Sex: M(for much as possible)
Nickname: Shawsey
Height: 5ft 10inches
Position: Centre Forward, Centre Midfield, Right Midfield
Favourite Player: Edmundo, Danny Lawless
Description: Can play anywhere up front or in midfield, great scorer of goals, scorer of great goals.
Quote: ??????????????

Declan Flynn

Declan Flynn Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Declan Flynn
Age: 28
Sex: If he's anything his old team Ballyvary BlueBombers he probably doesn�t score that much but I can't back that up.
Nickname: Flynnstone(not really)
Height: 6ft 3
Position: Central Midfield or Centre Back
Favourite Player: Ronaldinho(aka David Roughneen)
Description: A new signing this season(2005) he�s an everpresent at the heart of the Snugboro United side.
Quote: Where�s that Joe F@c#er , I�m gonna creal him

Declan Conway

Declan Conway Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Declan Conway
Age: 38
Sex: Do you know any 38 year old virgins?
Nickname: Dec, Conway, The "Younger" Centre Back
Height: 6ftish
Position: Centre Back
Favourite Player: Fernando Hierro, Marcel Desailly, Kieran Murphy
Description: Having a magnificent season, this tough tackling, great reader of the game is never out of position(except in the bedroom), could probably keep playing until he�s 50.
Quote: Are ye going to Cox's?

David Quinn

David Quinn Player Profile

Statistics(B)
Name: David Quinn
Age: 24
Sex: Private
Nickname: Quinney(Original!)
Height: 3-9ft give or take(6ft 2-3 if you want a little more accuracy)
Position: Striker
Favourite Player: Dwight Yorke, Dean Saunders
Description: The big man up front, has a bit of pace, heads, chases, shoots. Has already scored his first goal for Snugboro in only his second appearance.
Quote: " I swhhhearrr"

Darren Lavelle

Darren Lavelle Player Profile

Statistics(B)
Name: Darren Lavelle
Age: 20
Sex: Still waiting for that Special Person
Nickname: Darragh!
Height: 6ft
Position: Right Back, Centre back, Centre Midfield, Anywhere really
Favourite Player: Nicky Butt
Description: Started as a right back but has reinvented himself this season as a central midfielder. Always goes in hard and is likely to finally score his first ever goal some time soon.
Quote: I just thought of something funny...your mother.

Johan Collins

Johan Collins Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Johan Collins
Age: 32
Sex: Never
Nickname: Kojak / Colossus
Height: 5'11''
Position: Central midfielder
Favourite Player: Russell Gibbons!
Description: Tough tacking no non-sense, combative midfielder with a deft touch?? for upsetting some of the players!
Quote After the 9/11 attacks in New York, Johan was rumoured to have walked from the ground zero rubble, brushed the dust from his shoulders and asked ?What time are we back at work?? Immense.

Mark Quinn

Mark Quinn Player Profile

Statistics(B)
Name : Mark Quinn
Age : 24
Sex : Not before Marriage or my brother will kill me! (however Caroline will kill me if I dont!)
Nickname: The Mighty Quinn,so he reckons!
Height : around 6 foot
Position: Anywhere down the right.
Favourite Player: Any player in the Eircom league of Ireland. The more unknown they are, the more I like them!
Description: Chief of staff of the notorious SRA.(snugboro republician army).In a league of his own
with his sambastyle soccer and original moves....Has the ability to
destroy the right wing (more chance of destroyin a chicken wing!) with
quick feet and the odd table top....Rumours that he has been approached by
L'oreal cause "they think he's worth it"(glad somebody does!!!!!!!)
,like his Beckham style haircuts he always leaves us thinking,what the
hell is he goin ta do next both on and off the pitch......

Quote: ITS VERY EASY TO PULL ON A SHIRT AND SAY YOU ARE
"SNUGBORO UNITED" BUT UNTILL YOU PUT YOURE HEART INTO
THIS CLUB YOURE SIMPLY NOTHING MORE
THAN..............JUST ANOTHER FOOTBALL PLAYER

Stephen Ormsby

Stephen Ormsby Player Profile

Statistics(B)
Name:Steven Ormsby
Age: We think hes just made his first communion
Sex:No He likes an Uncle Frank
Nickname:Crazy Frog
Height:Big for an ormsby
Position:Midfield
Favourite Player:His brother Declan
Description:He is just like Crazy frog. Wirey Lips on him and an annoying little prick
Quote:Are ye whacked???

Padraic Conway

Padraic Conway Player Profile

Statistics(B)
Name:Padraic conway
Age:27
Sex: With Caroline
Nickname:"P" or Ginger Biscuts
Height:OF Croagh Patrick
Position:Sweeper So that the opposition are never offside!!!!
Favourite Player:Ronaldo Cos theve matching beer bellies
Description:Snugboros answer to Mick Hucknull of Simply red his dirty beer belly makes him look like E.T in the dressing rooms. He is the richest man at the club but also the most generous! HINT HINT Murph!!!!!!!!
Quote. "Do we want this lads" before the game " we didnt want it" After the game " do you want it " Before turning out the lights!!!

Daire Duffy

Daire Duffy Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Daire Duffy
Age: 20
Sex: Whenever/Where ever
Nickname: Duffer, Duff Man
Height: 6ft
Position: Right/Left Wing
Favourite Player: Igor Biscan
Description: Pacey young player with bags of skill. His natural ability to beat people is remarkable and he has the change of pace that has defenders chasing shadows all day. Has been known to want to take the ball home with him often trying(and normally succeeding) to beat the same player 2-3 times. His boots have been checked for traces of glue to control the ball but reports were inconclusive.
Quote: "OOOOOOOOO the Water, OOOOOOOOOO the Water"

Sean O'Brien

Sean O'Brien Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Sean O Brien
Age: 22
Sex: Yes Please
Nickname:Son of A
Height: 6ft 2
Position: Centre Back/Centre Mid
Favourite Player: Gattuso
Description: Awkward looking player with bags of pace and determination. Received the Player of the Year award in his first season but college commitmants has hindered his play. Still has a lot to offer with unique cruntching tackles and unending mazy dribbles. To see him in full flight is something special.
Quote: "What dya mean?"

David Hickey

David Hickey Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: David Hickey
Age: 22
Sex: Yes Please
Nickname: Hitchy
Height: 5ft 9
Position: Up front or on the Left wing
Favourite Player: Robbie Fowler
Description:Another talented young player at the club. Has a superb footballing brain and has been frustrated for a couple of seasons with the lack of appearences under his belt. Has one of the sweetest left begs in the business with the stunning last minute equalliser against Swinford in the cup final a prime example. Has recently considered following in the foot steps of Brian Kerr and start managing at an early age but his absense would be missed
Quote: "I love Manchester United til I die"

Keiran Murphy

Keiran Murphy Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Kieran Murphy
Age: 87 (at least)
Sex: Not since the hips went
Nickname: Murf
Height: 5ft 8
Position: The rock at the centre of the defence.
Favourite Player: John O' Shea (the 2nd best player to come out of Waterford after yours trully)
Description: An elastic band of a man who makes the Duracell Bunny seem like a lazy Nigerian bum. Still one of the best defenders in the Mayo league this man knows no fear. Will stick his head anywhere with his unwavering commitment. Still a few more seasons in the Big leagues, no doubt about it.
Quote: "Thats it lads, end a story"

Joseph McDonnell

Joseph McDonnell Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Joseph Mc Donnell
Age: 21
Sex: Not since the Hernia.
Nickname: Flathead, Sexy Joe.
Height: 6ft
Position: Anywhere in the midfield
Favourite Player: Denilson, Lee Sharpe, or anyone who looked like they were going to make it big, but just didn't. Joe's Role Models.
Description: A naturally gifted young player with the potential of brillance. He has a fountain of footballing knowledge far beyond his years and is never afraid to voice his opinion(when given the chance). Has probably nutmegged everyone at the club at some stage and his hard work both on and off the pitch doesn't go unnoticed. Truelly a King among men.
Quote: "I'm an onion, I'm an onion, I'm an onion, I'm an onion, I'm an onion."

Stephen Walshe

Stephen Walshe Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Stephen Walshe
Age: 21 (22 on saturday the 21st of May)
Sex: Yes Please
Nickname:Bungle when i was a kid, Steve o or steveie or steveiewonderboy will do.
Height: Knee high to a grasshopper
Position: Right Full Back typically. Prefer centre back or centre mid!
Favourite Player: John Terry or Keano
Description: A terrier like player snapping at the britches of his opponents. Gives 100% everytime with a quality all round game.
Quote: "Pint of Guinness please!"

Peter Hopkins

Peter Hopkins Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Peter Joe Hopkins
Age: 26(and a half((an inch)))
Sex: As often as possible(with a cushion)
Nickname: Peter Joe, Hoppy.(Skippy the Bush Kangaroo)
Height: 5FT 8(He wishes, closer to 4ft)
Position: Left Back(on the bus)
Favourite Player: Steve Gerrard
Description: Solid in the back's, not afraid to throw in the odd slide tackle(only in emergency),can run all day prvided the nite before was'nt that good......
He's also Captain Fantastic in the dressing room, the man could of inspired entire armies to go to war on a simple confustication of his words. Has turned the B team from Nearly Weres to Nearly Were for 2 years under his captaincy. Will hope to keep up the good work for many seasons.
Quote: I was in a hollow,( A Hollow, A Sleepy Hollow.)

Padraig McHale

Padraig McHale Manager Profile

Written By Mark Quinn

Name: Padraig McHale
Age: Tippin 50 we think
Sex: Hes a wife and kids, youre Guess is as good as mine
Nickname: "P"
Height: Slightly bigger than Johnny Bourke
Position: The Gaffer
Favourite Player:O Yes he does have his favorites!! Nuff said!!!
Description: A Man We've never seen legless! A man who wont give in . If we win the Super league will he get Drunk???
Quote: "NOW, ITS LIKE THIS......."

Alan Leonard

Alan Leonard Player Profile

Statistics(A) Statistics(B)

Name:Alan Leonard
Age:20
Sex:With fellas
Nickname:Dynamite
Height:Cant tell when hes running
Position:Midfield
Favourite Player:Mick Mcdonnell, their simesse twins
Description:Runs like a duck, walks like a duck, Looks
like a duck. Yep....... Hes a Duck

Quote:"Howya Now"!!!

Iarla Hughes

Iarla Hughes Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Iarla Hughes
Age: 12 and a half, He's having his party in Nokies in a week
Sex: Not with a head like that
Nickname: Kosovo, Golly Wog and just about anything else that will get on his nerves
Height: 6' ish (5'ish without the hair)
Position: Keepaaaaaaaa
Favourite Player: Sylvester Stallone as the keeper in escape to victory, Walter Zenga, Rene Higuita, Massimo Taibi and Michael Wallace
Description: A Hans Segers type who manages to produce the goods even when the bung is not fortcoming. Definitiely a character that can keep your heart in your mouth for 90 mins. But when all is said and done he pulls off some smart saves. And he's a big friendly Golly Wog.

Quote: Naw, I think youre wrong about that

KEEPPERSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (WHEN NO ONE IS WITHIN A MILE OF HIM OR THE BALL!)

Glen Grehan

Glen Grehan Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Statistics(B)
Name: Glen Grehan
Age: 23
Sex: Regularly
Nickname: Glenni bo Grettsiano
Height: 5�9.5��
Position: Central midfielder / Centre half
Favourite Player: Frank Lampard
Description: "Technically gifted hard working substitute, hard to believe he?s not in the side" Mark Quinn, Mayo News.
Quote "Great game Gleno, super goal, well played"

Anthony Healy

Anthony Healy Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Anto Healy
Age: 26
Sex: Not too often
Nickname:Zippy (ya the guy off Rainbow)
Height:3 inches
Position: Left back since 1945
Favourite Player: His uncle John Joe
Description: World class player who never made it big because mayo county team is full of celtic bastards
Quote: Are you going for a dube?

David Roughneen

David Roughneen Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: David Roughneen
Age: 22
Sex: Yes please
Nickname: "rocker" or shit head.
Height: 6ft
Position: Left-wing/Centre Mid
Favourite Player: Ronaldinho
Description: Hard working young fella who plays for the prospect of pints. Possesses a vicious shot and has right backs around the county shitting their pants whnever he does his Kevin Kilbane-esq runs. One of only three left footed players in the whole club!
Quote: "Tough Crowd"

Frank Scully

Frank Scully Player Profile

Statistics(A)
Name: Frank Scully
Age: 25ish?
Sex: Touchy subject, we fear he may be, yknow, a bit, ahem, well not straight?
Nickname: Scully, Frankie, pizzamonster.
Height: 6 foot nuttin
Position: Goalkeeper, but secretly wants to be a striker
Favourite Player: An avid arsenal fan, he'd love to get into Jens Lehmans shorts. You can take this any way you want to.
Description: When he's not needed by the Breaghwy gay-lick football team, and Snugboro need a keeper, the scullymonster is called upon. Confident young man, takes it all in his stride. Good pair of hands on and off the pitch.
Quote: "Any craic" "Ya pass"